Battle of the Brooms
by Moonspots
Summary: When Eren falls asleep on cleaning day, Levi becomes determined to make him pay for his insolence. A crazy chase around the castle ensues with deadly cleaning supplies, surprising allies, epic betrayal and a whole lot of randomness. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own SNK or any of its characters

 **Battle of the Brooms**

Today was Levi's favorite day of the week. It was Sunday, and Sunday was cleaning day. That meant that for the whole day, Levi got to wash windows, beat the rugs-or sometimes the cadets-and dust off the shelves. Even the weather seemed to be smiling down on the corporal today.

Making his rounds through the castle, he was sure to thoroughly inspect every room for any overlooked corner or smudged surface. As was expected, his team was full of superb cleaners while the cadets lacked the experience and passion to truly make a room sparkle. There was a reason he had hand-picked his team. After informing Connie and Sasha that their cleaning was absolutely pitiful, and they would have to redo the whole room, Levi made his way upstairs to the study. Having been there the longest of the cadets, Eren Yaeger should have been the most skilled with the broom.

Upon throwing open the door, Levi found the said boy to be fast asleep. His mouth hung slightly open with a line of drool hanging from it as he rested his head on an open desk. A feather duster was lying on the table under his hand, and a broom was forgotten on the ground next to him. Anger bubbled up in Levi as he stormed towards the teenager, and it only intensified as he took a quick glance around the room. As if disrespecting the cleaning supplies wasn't bad enough, it seemed the brat hadn't even bothered to try cleaning up before snoozing off.

Levi's grip on the handle of his mop tightened as he watched Eren peacefully sleep in the unacceptably dirty room. He had spent the whole week putting up with these cadet's ridiculous antics and awful cleaning habits. Today was supposed to be his day of relief and relaxation, but this brat had the nerve to ruin it. He wondered what exactly would happen to humanity's strongest weapon if he were to accidentally impale humanity's last hope with the end of a mop.

Raising his mop in the air, he brought the stick of it flying down on Eren's head. A sickening crack followed as the stick splintered in half, its jagged end bouncing off the boy's impossibly thick skull and clattering on the ground. Eren's sea-green eyes snapped open as he jerked awake. Clutching his head, he was about to demand what was going on when he saw the look on Levi's face.

While humanity's strongest weapon had seen enough shit in his life that it was no surprise he wasn't smiling often, Eren had never seen him like this. A darkness had fallen over his face, and his small body was shaking with more rage than it should have been able to handle. The anger Eren had initially felt at being awakened so violently was quickly replaced with fear.

"C-corporal Levi! I er…" Eren trailed off, at a loss for words. He wasn't exactly sure what was happening or the cause of the man's rage, but he knew he was the target of it.

"You little shit," Levi growled. "I walk in here and find you sleeping with all these dusty-ass shelves! After you had blatantly disrespected cleaning day and me, I decided to wake you up. Then, you had the audacity to break the best mop in this whole castle with your oversized and incredibly thick skull."

Eren wasn't exactly sure how it was his fault that Levi's mop had broken when he had hit him on the head with it. If anything, shouldn't Eren be mad that Levi had whacked him over the head hard enough to break the mop? That was hardly worth pointing out when any wrong word could send the little man into a frenzy.

"Sir, I sincerely apologize for breaking the mop! I was up very late running experiments and thought I could take a quick nap before completing my cleaning duties. I apologize for oversleeping!" Eren announced, jumping to his feet and saluting Levi.

Levi let out a twisted laugh that sent chills through Eren. "You think I care, Jaeger? That because you are a titan freak that you are somehow above your cleaning duties?" His hands tightened on the mop handle to the point where the wood began to crack.

As Eren watched the small man raise it in horror, all he could think about was how cruel and short his life had been.

…

Across the castle, Mikasa was silently sweeping the floor while Armin was dusting off some books shelves. She suddenly froze, her broom suspended mid-sweep. A pained look crossed Mikasa's face as she stood in some type of trance. Noticing the strange state his friend was in, Armin questioned her. "Is everything alright Mikasa?"

No, everything was not alright. She knew this feeling in her gut. It was her Eren-radar, and right this moment, he was in grave danger.

Mikasa jerked her head up and bolted towards the door. "Eren!" She cried desperately. The girl was gone before Armin could say anything else.

Mikasa's feet flew up the stairs as she followed her innate Eren-detector. The broom was still clutched tightly in her hand as she rounded a corner. With nothing else nearby to protect Eren with, the broom very well may be her only weapon. Coming to the room Eren was in, Mikasa didn't even bother with the handle and just opted for kicking the door down instead.

Inside, Levi had his arm raised, ready to bring down the broken end of a broom on Eren. The boy's green eyes were wide with fear and horror as he slowly raised her hand in a feeble attempt to protect himself. Memories of Eren flashed through her mind as she rushed towards him. She had almost lost him so many times before, she wouldn't lose him now!

Moments before Levi struck Eren, Mikasa's broomstick intercepted the attack. The impact of the block sent the mop flying from Levi's hands where it clattered loudly on the ground. Mikasa shoved Eren behind her, and Eren, too flabbergasted and thankful to protest, stumbled behind his savior. As many times as he had seen Mikasa before, he had never realized how god like she actually looked. Her dark eyes were narrowed, and her full lips were curled back into a snarl. Standing there in a crouch with a broom clutched in her hand and ready to fight Levi to the death if needed, Eren was immensely grateful he had murdered three men with her to gain her loyalty.

Levi's face still had the dark tint to it that meant death to anyone he directed his anger at. "Ackerman, step aside. This is between me and the brat," Levi commanded, his voice a deadly calm that sent chills down Eren's spines.

"No. I won't let you harm Eren!" Mikasa denied his offer passionately.

Walking over to the broomstick Eren had discarded on the floor, Levi lifted it from the ground. "If you won't step aside, then I'll just have to kill both of you." Levi accented his words by jabbing the broomstick at Mikasa.

Mikasa against Levi: a battle of a lifetime. While Mikasa was top of their class and had skills on par with a beast, Levi had years of experience behind him as well. At least Mikasa was taller. That had to count for something.

As the two faced off, Eren suddenly realized how utterly useless he was in this situation. Again Mikasa had come to his rescue and watched over him like her little kid-brother. Gritting his teeth, Eren stepped up next to Mikasa, anger blazing in his beautiful eyes. "I won't stand back while you protect me."

"Eren, your only weapon is a feather duster," Mikasa pointed out. Glancing down at his hand confirmed it, and logic told him a feather duster was a poor weapon in a battle of cleaning supplies. Maybe it would be best if he just let Mikasa handle this one after all.

Levi surged forward, and Mikasa met him head-on. A chorus of clunks filled the air as their weapons meet again and again in battle. With his feather duster clutched tightly in his hand, Eren felt feeble in comparison to the two beasts dancing before him. Neither of them was letting up or showing any sign of slipping up. They were almost perfectly matched. Idly, Eren wondered when they had learned how to fight with broomsticks.

Just when Eren was starting to hope he might actually survive the day, Mikasa's broomstick went flying from her hand. Levi swung his broom, but Mikasa expertly ducked under it while simultaneously backing up towards Eren. Without her broom, it would be very difficult to defend Eren from this cleaning freak. Glancing behind her, she spotted their salvation on the shelf behind Eren. Hurriedly, she reached across him and brought back an armful of books.

Mikasa was quick to seize the opportunity as Levi hesitated in a brief second of confusion. She launched the books towards him with enough speed to be deadly. Levi dodged one of the books and deflected another with his broom. Though the attack wasn't doing any actual damage, it was at least stalling him. Now was Eren's chance to be useful. If he could just get the broom back while Mikasa had Levi distracted, it could be the difference between life and death.

Just when Eren was about to go for it, Hangi came rushing through the door. Her eyes were wide behind her glasses, and she looked slightly disheveled. She was about to declare something when a book slammed into her gut. Letting out a grunt of pain, she was thrown backward and to the ground by the force of the throw. Eren's jaw just about dropped to the floor as he stared at the unconscious form of the woman. Neither Levi nor Mikasa seemed all too bothered by the fact the Hangi had been KO'd.

"Mikasa, you just drilled Hangi!" Eren protested, pointing towards the said woman.

Mikasa didn't falter at the sound of Eren's voice, her dark eyes as hard as ever. "To defeat a monster, you must be willing to throw aside your humanity and all that makes you human." Finally running out of books, she surged forward to meet Levi in combat. Knocking the broom from his hand, the two became a flurry of punches and kicks.

"I don't think that's what Armin meant when he said that," Eren pointed out.

One of Levi's fists connected with Mikasa, sending her sliding backward. With her breathes coming in heavy rasps and sweat gleaming on her forehead, Eren wasn't sure how much more she could take. Not taking her eyes off Levi, Mikasa said, "You have to make a break for the door, Eren. It's the only way you'll survive."

Eren shook his head, unwilling to leave her behind. Tears stung in the corners of his eyes as they rolled down and dripped from his cheeks. "I can't! All I've ever been is useless. Even now I can't do anything to protect you. I won't leave you behind, Mikasa!"

A rare smile rose to the girl's normally solemn face as tears also welled up in her eyes. Taking a moment to reach up and touch the red scarf wrapped around her neck, she turned towards Eren. Tilting her head to the side, she said, "Eren, listen. Thank you, for always being by my side. For giving my life meaning. For wrapping this scarf around my neck."

Even Levi stopped his advance as he witnessed the touching moment between the two. It would have been rude to interrupt.

"You're not useless. You make me strong. Right now, you have to survive, though," Mikasa begged him, a single teardrop rolling down her cheek.

Sniffing loudly, Eren nodded. "But what about you?"

"I'll hold him off as long as I can. He's only after you, so he won't kill me. You have to find help, though." She took her position across from Levi, the small glimmer of happiness from early all but a distant memory. Both of them had retrieved their brooms and tensed in preparation for battle. Gritting his teeth, Eren bleakly accepted the task before him and the sacrifice Mikasa was willing to make.

The two surged forward, their broomsticks clashing together with deadly force. Eren crouched, ready to take the opportunity when it presented itself. An opening appeared before him for a brief second, and Eren gladly took it. Bolting forward, he narrowly avoided a swing with enough force to decapitate as he made it to the doorway. Levi let out a string of cuss words, but Mikasa drew his attention back to the fight.

Eren rounded the corner at dangerous speeds and took the stairs two at a time. He had to escape, hide, or find help. Getting out of that room alive was a small victory, but this was just the beginning of the war. Flying down the hallway, a flash of blonde caused Eren to skid to a stop. Rushing backward, Eren was meet by a pair of blue eyes widened in surprise.

"Armin!" Eren cried in relief, pushing his friend into the room and slamming the door behind them.

Armin stumbled backward, stuttering, "Eren, what are you doing?"

"You have to help me. Captain Levi is trying to kill me. Mikasa is holding him off right now, but I don't know how much longer she can last. That stupid midget," Eren panted, cursing under his breath at the last part.

"Oh, no. This is bad," Armin groaned, shaking his head. "What did you do Eren?!"

Looking at the ground guiltily, Eren huffed, "It's not important. I just need you to come up with a plan for me to escape and hopefully survive the day."

Armin's eyes widened. "You trust me enough to place your survival in my hands?"

"What? Yeah, of course, I do." Eren frowned, unsure why his friend always lacked so much self-confidence.

"Right!" Armin nodded firmly. Eren quickly gave Armin a rundown the situation while the blonde boy's brain went into overdrive developing a plan.

"Commander Erwin is scheduled to return at some point today. If we can keep you away from Levi long enough for him to arrive, then he should be able to talk some sense into him," Armin explained. "There's a chance some of his subordinates might tell him where you are, so we should keep you hidden from them too. I'll take the lead and you follow. As long as we avoid the rooms where we know other people are cleaning, then we should be fine."

Eren nodded, his mind slowly processing the idea. An immense feeling of relief washed over the boy at the realization he wasn't, in fact, going to die that day. Eren followed Armin over to the door, where the boy quietly peaked his head out and looked down the hall. Giving Eren a thumbs up, the two tiptoed out of the room and down the hall. The sound of pounding footsteps stopped them mid-step. Turning to look back, they watched as Levi skidded around the corner.

The man's eyes glinted with hunger as they locked on Eren, sending a chill down his spine. Then, to Eren's relief, Mikasa rounded the corner.

"Mikasa!"

Not looking at Eren, Mikasa stopped next to Levi, her broom clutched tightly in her hand. Eren froze, looked between the two of them in disbelief. "What is going on?"

Levi's lips curled into an evil smile. "Mikasa and I have teamed up to take you down."

…

"I'll hold him off as long as I can. He's only after you, so he won't kill me. You have to find help, though." Mikasa brought her broomstick up in preparation for her upcoming fight. Eren was obviously conflicted about leaving her, but at least he was being reasonable. Protecting him was her number one priority, and she wouldn't hesitate to give anything to keep him safe.

Mikasa surged forward, her broomstick clashing with Levi's as he blocked her blow. Out of the corner of her eye, Mikasa saw Eren bolt for the door. Her heart skipped a beat as Levi aimed a deadly blow at the boy's head, but Eren managed to duck under it. Anger coursing through her, she relentlessly advanced.

While her aggressive attack had gained her some leverage at the beginning, Mikasa slowly came to the realization that Levi was just too skilled for her to beat. She had been blessed with raw talent that she had honed in the past three years, but she lacked the experience Levi had gained over a decade. Even if it was impossible for her to beat him, she couldn't give up. She had to keep fighting. For Eren.

With that thought in mind, Mikasa poured her heart into the battle. Dodging a swing, she brought her broomstick down towards Levi's head. Impossibly fast, he blocked the broomstick inches from his face. A brief struggle for leverage ensued before Levi thrust his foot into Mikasa's stomach. The force of the kick sent her to the ground, landing very hard on her butt. Rubbing her backside bitterly, she eyed the little man approaching her. With her weapon laying out of reach on the floor, she was practically defenseless against him.

Levi blew a stray piece hair out of his eyes as he advanced. He pointed the broomstick at Mikasa, the tip inches from her throat. "Mikasa, you put up quite a fight."

Mikasa just glowered at him, angry with herself for being unable to protect Eren and angry with the demonic midget in front of her for besting her.

"You're so keen to protect that titan freak because he's the only family you have left," Levi paused. "But what if I were to tell you that isn't necessarily true."

Mikasa blanched, "What are you talking about?"

"Mikasa, I am an Ackerman."

Her dark eyes widened at the revelation while her mouth dropped open. "No, No! You're lying!"

Levi sighed, rolling his eyes. "Look at us. We look like we could be siblings. Plus we both are titan killing machines."

Mikasa stayed silent, acknowledging the truth of his words. Even if they were related by blood, that would never mean she'd choose him over Eren, though. He was her everything, and nothing could ever make her betray him.

"What do you want?" She demanded, hoping to buy time for him to escape.

Levi began to pace in front of her, his fist held up passionately in front of him. "Imagine what we could accomplish if the two of us were to team up. No one would be able to stop us. We could make Eren do whatever we please. We could force that little shit to clean all day every day until this filthy place is squeaky clean." Levi's eyes gleamed wickedly as he imagined all the possibilities.

Mikasa was about to refuse when an image of Eren popped into her mind. Blushing, she fingered the scarf around her neck.

"Whatever we want?" Her eyes were turned downward, her long lashes shading them. "Even make him wear a maid uniform while cleaning?"

"..."

Levi stared at her. Finally, she looked back at him. Shrugging, Levi said, "Hmm, yeah, sure. Whatever."

Mikasa tried to keep a smile off her face as she rose to her feet. Fetching her broom, she returned to Levi's side. Sliding his hands back into his cleaning gloves, he walked towards the door.

"Let's go find ourselves a titan."

Stopping outside the door, Levi suddenly realized he had absolutely no idea where the little brat went. Mikasa looked down one end of the hall and then the other. She paused a moment, closing her eyes in concentration.

"This way," she announced, rushing down the hall.

Levi ran to her side. "How can you tell."

"I've developed a built-in Eren-radar," she explained. "I can locate him anywhere."

Levi rushed out in front of her, skidding past a corner. Mikasa's heart did a flip as she rounded the corner, her eye's meeting the sea-green ones of Eren. Armin stood next to him, his foot raised mid-step as though he had just been about to sneak away. Her eyes flickered to the floor, and habit had her fingering the scarf around her neck. Fighting to keep the blush off her cheek, Mikasa hovered behind Levi.

"Mikasa!" Eren cried out excitedly.

The Ackerman just couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. Guilt crept up on her, but the image of Eren cleaning in a maid uniform promptly chased it away. Yup. She was definitely doing the right thing.

"What is going on?" Eren demanded.

"Mikasa and I have teamed up," Levi declared.

Mikasa glanced up, taking in the look of disbelief on Eren and Armin's face. Both of her boys looked betrayed by her change in alliance. The hurt in their eyes made her want to deny Levi's declaration more than anything, but she couldn't do that.

Stepping forward, she pointed her broom at Eren. "Please don't resist. It will be easier if you just accept defeat."

"Never! I won't let this be my end. Not until I kill all the titans!" He yelled, gritting his teeth. The boy's eyes were narrowed at her in an attempt to convey his anger, but all she saw was the pain she had caused him. "Why Mikasa? How could you betray me?"

Mikasa felt heat rush to her cheeks at his question. Rubbing her toe on the ground, she refused to meet his eyes.

Finally, Levi spoke up. "Mikasa has something in mind for you, Eren."

A look of puzzlement crossed his face. "What are you talking about?"

Levi glanced at Mikasa and sighed heavily when it became clear she wasn't willing to talk about it. Tilting his head towards Eren, he said, "Once I beat the shit out of you, I'm going to make you clean this castle until it sparkles. Mikasa wants to see you doing it in a maid's costume."

Eren's mouth dropped open. His eyes slid from the captain to Mikasa. In a weak attempt to hide her embarrassment, she had pulled the scarf up to cover the bottom half of her face. "What-I-Mikasa," Eren spluttered. "This is so embarrassing."

Levi nodded in agreement, though that seemed to be about the extent of his sympathy for the slacking cadet. Raising his broom, he advanced towards them, Mikasa a shadow behind him.

"Eren, you have to run. I'll hold them off," Armin cut in.

"Wha-no! I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me. I'm done hiding behind other people," Eren protested.

Armin's face darkened. "You've always been rushing in to protect me. Even, then, you sacrificed yourself to the titan to save me. It's my turn to protect you."

Turning towards Eren, he grabbed the boy roughly by the shoulders. His eyes were wide with desperation, but also determination. "Please, Eren, you have to find someplace to hide. They won't kill me, so let me stall them."

The image of himself wearing a maid's uniform while Levi kicked at him and Mikasa creepily watched him from around a corner popped into his head. Jerking his head to the side, Eren growled, "Fine."

Glaring at the Ackerman duo, Eren took a hesitant step backward before bolting. With Eren gone, Armin returned his attention to the deadly assailants. Their eyes were narrowed to slits, angry that Armin had allowed their prey to escape and ready to deliver the necessary punishment. Despite the fear boiling up inside him, Armin stood strong. Taking a deep breath, he began.

"On that day, mankind received a grim reminder…" Armin trailed off for a dramatic effect and to collect himself.

Levi made to attack the boy, but Mikasa's arm shot out to block his path. Her eyes hardened as she shook her head. "We must listen."

Levi glared at her but didn't push the issue further. Their capture of Eren was inevitable, and Mikasa slowing them down to listen to Armin's speech wouldn't really affect anything in the long term.

"The fear of oppression under them, and the humiliation of being caged like birds." Armin's eyes were wide as he spoke. Slowly, his crazed blue eyes found Mikasa's. "Do you remember what it was like? To lose everything on that day?"

Mikasa stood frozen, her heart thumping loudly in her chest as images of the horrible day flashed through her mind. Boulders flying through the air and leaving anyone unfortunate enough to be in their path nothing more than a smear of red on the street. The panic and fear so thick in the air it was practically suffocating. The way Eren's mother had been plucked from the ground as though she were nothing more than a rag doll. How she had kicked her legs and pounded her fists before being snapped like a toothpick.

Suddenly, a broomstick connected with the side of Armin's head, dropping the poor boy. Levi stood over the boy, his unsympathetic eyes checking for any sign of consciousness. Mikasa just stared. Glancing up at Levi, she was meet with a pinched annoyed expression.

"Snap out of it, Ackerman. We have a little bitch to catch."

…

Eren knew he was in deep shit. The odds of Armin being able to hold off the titan-slaying machines for more than a minute were very slim. He desperately hoped the boy was okay as he rounded a corner at dangerous speed and rolled down the stairs he took a little too fast. Picking himself up off the ground, he ignored the bone poking out of the side of his forearm and stumbled towards the kitchen. It would heal, but he wouldn't if they found him.

Unsurprisingly, Eren followed the sound of hurried chewing to find Sasha crouched behind the counter, stuffing her mouth full of bread. She turned slowly towards him, her eyes wide as she swallowed her last gulp. Crumbs of bread lined her mouth and covered the floor. The glint in her eyes told Eren that taking the food away from her would only result in a lot of pain.

"Uh, hey, Sasha," Eren nervously edged away from her.

Sasha took a very violent bite from the bread in her hand, ripping off a large chunk and devouring it. Finishing it off, she rose from the ground. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she looked over Eren. "You smell like fear."

"Uh…" Eren laughed nervously, "I sort of have a problem."

Armin had told him not to trust anyone, but the odds of Sasha reporting to Levi were very slim. Plus, when you added food into the equation, Sasha could almost be as deadly as an Ackerman.

"If you help me out, I'll give you my meal tonight."

Sasha promptly spit in her hand and held it out to Eren. "Deal. I'll do whatever you want." Her large brown eyes were gleaming with sincerity.

Eren hesitated only a moment before firmly taking her hand. "Right. So Levi and Mikasa are trying to kill me because I fell asleep while cleaning. I need you to distract them for me. Once Commander Erwin arrives, I should be in the clear."

Sasha nodded thoughtfully.

The door was suddenly thrown open, slamming against the wall with a sharp crack. Eren's heart jumped into his throat as he whirled around. To his immense relief, Connie stood panting in the doorway. Sasha stiffened at Eren's side and grabbed a loaf of bread off the counter.

"Sasha, you can't just sneak away from cleaning duties to raid the kitchen!" He jabbed his finger at her accusingly.

Before he could take another step, he was promptly trampled as Mikasa and Levi rushed through the doorway. Sasha gasped loudly, the loaf of bread slipping from her grasp. It dramatically hit the ground, bouncing once before rolling to a stop.

"Shit," Eren cursed, taking a step away from them. They really did take out Armin fast.

Like ferocious lions stalking their prey, they advanced. Only it was more like Mikasa was a lioness, and Levi was her angry cub.

Sasha threw open a cabinet near them, snatching a frying pan and spatula from it without even looking. She really must know the kitchen. With the cooking tools in hand, she stepped in front of Eren.

"I'll hold them off, for your dinner and for Connie. I really hope we have meat tonight." Without another word, she charged forward.

Where Levi was cleaning, Sasha was cooking, and as easily as the short man had turned his passion into a weapon, Sasha followed suit. Her trusty frying pan doubled as both an effective shield and a deadly weapon while the spatula parred strikes from Mikasa.

Eren really wished he could have witnessed the whole battle, but his dignity was at stake. Silently thanking Sasha, he turned and ran.

Luckily, the kitchen had more than one entrance so he didn't have to go through the fighting to escape. As he ran through the halls, he desperately wondered when Commander Erwin would arrive. Mikasa and Levi were so relentless that it was only a matter of time before they caught up to him. Using his titan abilities would only result in him being cut up by tiny little swords and ripped from the enormous body once they inevitably defeated him. Maybe if he managed to steal a horse, he could ride somewhere and lie low until the Commander arrived.

Sharply turning left, he flew past room after room.

Eren plowed forward. Freedom was so close he could almost taste it. There was no way he was going to end up in some maid's costume cleaning this stupid castle. How was he supposed to eliminate all the Titans is all he was allowed to kill were germs?

The sun and a warm breeze greeted him outside. Savoring the taste of freedom, Eren hurried towards the stables. Skidding to a stop, he was meet with the unsightly long face of Jean.

Scoffing, Eren said. "Not surprised to see you here."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jean growled taking a step towards Eren. "You trying to pick a fight titan freak?"

Eren did actually quite enjoy fighting Jean. It was one of his favorite hobbies, along with titan killing and angry yelling, but Eren wanted to live. Fighting took precious time he just couldn't spare right now. Shouldering past him, he approached a horse. "I just came to borrow one of these."

A hand grasped Eren's shoulder and roughly whirled him around. Up close, it was astonishing how much more horse-like Jean's face really was. His eyes were narrowed into slits as they bore into Eren's. Jean had a fistful of Eren's shirt and was pulling up with so much force that it threatened to rip.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You can't just waltz in here and take a horse." Jean growled. "I don't care what everyone else says, you're still the same psychotic bastard you've always been."

Of all of Eren's notable qualities, his rage was both his most useful and redeeming one. It was also so overpowering in that moment that it caused Eren to throw common sense out the window. Cocking his arm back, Eren's drove his fist into Jean's side. With a startled cry, Jean released his hold on Eren and stumbled backward, cursing as he clutched his side.

Turning away from Jean, Eren ripped a bridle from the wall and stalked towards a horse. He had dealt with more than enough shit today, and Jean's was not worth it. He could hear him approaching, but Eren didn't dignify him with a look as he prepared his horse.

"I don't have time for your shit today, Jean."

His horse, sensing his rage and fear, was restless and uneasy. Eren attempted to soothe it with reassuring strokes and a soft voice. The fact that Jean was stalking towards them with killing intent did not help either.

"You better make ti-" Jean was cut off by a call from Mikasa.

Whirling around they found the girl standing in the entrance of the stables. Her sleek black hair was windblown, and a flush had settled on her cheeks from their mad chase. Corporal Levi brushed past her, pointing his broom at Eren. "Give it up, Jaeger. There's nowhere for you to run."

Eren grabbed his horses neck and swung up onto its back. Bareback wasn't his ideal method of riding, but he didn't have much of a choice right now. Gripping the reins tightly, he leaned in close to his mount. "Move out of the way, Jean."

Jean was about to protest as Eren dug his heels into the side of his horse. Rearing dramatically, the horse exploded forward. Jean barely managed to dive out of the way before he could be trampled.

Eren had to give the horse props. It was charging towards the two most deadly people possibly on the planet, and it didn't falter. With their only other option being trampled, the Ackermans had no choice but to move out of the way.

Letting out a triumphant cry, Eren turned back to see the two picking themselves up off the ground. Jean had rushed to the front of the stables to glare at Eren as he rode away. Levi glowered at Eren as he growled, "Hurry, Mikasa, grab a horse." Levi then proceeded to roughly yank Jean by the shirt towards him.

"Wha- I'm not a horse, sir!" Jean sputtered, pulling away from Levi.

Levi frowned as he glanced at Jean. "Interesting. I didn't know we had talking horses."

Eren returned is attention to the path in front of him, knowing that it wouldn't take long for the two to be after him again. He spurred his heels into his horse, urging it to go even faster. He wasn't sure where he was going, but right now he just needed to get away.

As the world blurred past Eren, it occurred to him that it should have been impossible for them to follow him as closely and as quickly as they did. Which meant they were tracking him. Which meant that hiding was no longer an option.

Veering to the right, Eren angled himself towards the road. Commander Erwin was taking too damn long, so it was time for Eren to meet him halfway. He didn't even care how he was going to explain this all to the commander. Anything was better than being taken prisoner by a demonic midget and an obsessive fangirl. Clutching the reins tightly, Eren prayed that he might actually make it out alive as his horse galloped towards the main road.

Eren's head whipped around at the sound of thundering hooves approaching him. Corporal Levi was gaining, his face a mask of annoyance and disgust. Eren desperately pushed his horse to go faster, but the distance between them continued to dwindle. For once it seemed Levi's short stature was actually an advantage for him, his lighter weight a lesser burden for his horse. Eren was so close to the road, though, there was no way he was giving up now.

Eren broke through a line of trees, and there was his salvation. A horse-drawn wagon prattling down the road, the outline of the commanders profile visible in the window. So relieved, tears pricked the corners of Eren's eyes. Then, a dark form caught his eye.

Turning, Eren spotted Mikasa crouched on the branch of a tree, her dark hair and red scarf whipping in the wind. The moment he passed, she was a panther pouncing on its prey. All Eren could do was watch as she dove towards him in slow motion, her eyes dark with hunger. She slammed into him, throwing him off his horse and sending them both to the ground.

Eren hit the ground hard, stars spotting his vision as his head connected with the ground. Since Eren had been kind enough to cushion Mikasa's fall with his body, she wasted no time. Ripping the scarf off her neck, Mikasa quickly went to work on gagging Eren, so he couldn't alert the commander of their presence. That didn't stop Eren from screaming or from kicking his leg violently despite Mikasa having firmly pinned him to the ground.

"Eren, It would be easier if you stopped resisting," Mikasa reasoned.

Like hell. Eren didn't care if everything he did was futile, he was still going to put up a fight. He would never stop resisting until he breathed his last breath. Glaring daggers at Mikasa, he continued to struggle against her iron grip. Her eyes softened into what could almost be called regret as she watched him desperately fight.

"I know how to get the brat to sit still," Corporal Levi's voice growled.

Before Eren could turn to glare at him, Levi's boot connected with the side of Eren's head and everything went dark.

…

Commander Erwin's majestic brows were furrowed as he slowly chewed on his dinner. To his left, Levi was nonchalantly sipping on a cup of tea, and to his right, Hangi was nursing a stomach wound she refused to explain. The dining hall was full of the chatter of soldiers and the clatter of silverware. While Erwin's eyes scanned the hall, Levi carefully and stealthily analyzed Erwin.

"Where is Eren Jaeger?" He finally asked.

Levi finished his sip of tea and set his cup down. With a bored expression on his face, he exasperatedly sighed. "He didn't finish his cleaning duties like the rest of his peers, so he's working on that right now." Before Erwin could ask it, he added. "And he'll eat once he's done."

Erwin frowned but didn't push Levi on the issue. Waiting a little longer to deflect any suspicion Erwin might be harbor, Levi excused himself. After navigating the halls and climbing a flight of stairs, Levi stopped in front of a study. Inside, he was greeted with the sight of Eren furiously sweeping the floors. The boy wore a black and white maid's uniform, complete with little apron and white frillies lining the bottom of the dress and its sleeves. He even had a white maid cap on his head. Behind him, Mikasa's attempt to pretend to read a book while she actually watched Eren was fooling no one.

Hearing Levi enter, Eren looked up, his face red with either embarrassment or hatred. Most likely a combination of both. Eren scowled and cursed under his breath as he swept the floor. The whole scene brought a small rare smile to Levi's lips.

After finishing, Eren fixed Levi with a glare. "How much longer are you going to make me do this?"

"Let me make this perfectly clear brat." Levi grabbed the front of Eren's dress so their faces were only inches apart. "Until you've killed every single germ in this whole castle, you will never kill another titan."

Eren stumbled backward as Levi released his grip on him. Struggling to control his rage, Eren snatched a feather duster off the desk and got to work. Mikasa unsuccessfully tried to act nonchalant as she followed him around the room. Watching Eren's obvious discomfort as he performed the most essential task Levi could imagine and Mikasa trail after him like a puppy, Levi couldn't help but think that despite its rough start, this day had turned out to be a very good one indeed.

 **Hope my story made you smile! I know it was fun writing it. Be sure to leave a review of your thoughts!**


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